On the journey to “being childlike again”.. ?

Most people think of their inner child as the beauties of playfulness, divinity, vulnerability, sensitivity - “oooohhhh let’s bring all that goodness out!”

We too easily forget (or aren’t aware of) the shadow of our inner child, the conditioning, the helplessness, lack of support, victim, perpetrator, bully/bullied, trauma, blame, shame, tantrum, rage - “uummmmm let’s not bring that out!” 

And so we don’t tend to love all of that. We put it into a bag, under the bed, behind the wardrobe, forgotten. 

We are loving only HALF our inner child. We CONDITIONALLY love our inner child.

To unconditionally love our inner child, means we must love all of us - whole - shadow and all. When the inner child’s pain comes forth, love it

Tip 1: don’t confuse loving with fusing. If we fuse with him/her, we forget to fully identify that we have grown up, and begin to act out all the shadowy childlike behaviours. We can become intimate by standing back to an arm’s length distance from our inner child.

Tip 2: Many of us have even pimped out our inner child, exposing our vulnerability, innocence, playfulness to seduce and be seen, be heard. Social media has made that so easy.

Tip 3: We must be the protective & supportive parent to our inner child. We must provide a safe space for our inner child. 

Tip 4: Allow the inner child pain to come forth and love it. It’s unhelpful to say to your inner child, ‘it’s ok”, or “do it this way”. Instead, say “I love you”, “I embrace you”, “I see you”, “I feel you”, “I hear you”. And.. hug yourself! I love the Kūlike, a Hawaiian practice, right hand on heart, left hand on gut, deep breath in and out.

Tip 5: Talk to your inner child as a daily practice. The more you get to know him/her, the more you’ll know when he/she is showing up, when he/she has been hiding, or when he/she is being pimped out. It’s just like developing any deeper relationship :-)