Emotional Skin
Raw sharing:
So... this morning I woke up looking like Planet Earth....
Ultimate test of surrendering vs. going into victim mode and scratching like a mad woman like I’ve done for the past 32 years whenever my skin would go wild.
Finally giving shame, disgust, fear, sadness and anger the space to breathe ❤️
(October 1st 2017)
Skin update:
This is what my leg looked like 24 hours after the last picture I posted.
In the past, similar flare-ups would’ve taken 2 or 3 weeks to calm down. Now it took 1 day for all of these moving patches to pass on every square mm of my body before disappearing, leaving my skin soft and shiny.
I chose to confront it differently this time.
No creams, no oils, no going through medical literature, no running to doctors, no detox protocols, no sleeping it off, but...
Bringing awareness to my emotions.
I finally allowed myself to be supported in navigating through the different emotions we experience as human beings.
I was numb to so many of them for so long and lacked the litteracy to share what was going on in my inner world.
Not knowing what anger felt like - the supression of it, not recognizing when fear came up, not being aware of the huge amounts of shame and disgust that I was carrying... Until someone called them out for me. Until I let someone call them out for me.
So, 2 nights ago, I had a sofa session with my man.
When “stuff” comes up that needs to be addressed, we move to the couch and talk it through.
When we first met a few months back and started our sofa sessions, there was not much conversation happening. I would be paralyzed by shame and fear, not able to utter a single word, when he would call out what was happening with me emotionally.
I then started tapping into my anger for the first time, feeling how it was actually the power and fire that I needed to create things in this reality. Stepping into my power. Feeling more. Feeling what others are feeling. Feeling connected to everyone and everything.
So, this skin thingie appearing...
Hatred was the topic of the sofa session.
“How do I define hate?”, I asked myself. I had no answer to this question, which showed me how numb I had been to it.
Hate and disgust are two words that may sound very strong and that we tend to easily dissociate from.
After hearing about hate being the combination of anger, shame, disgust and fear and feeling deeply into it for myself, acknowledging its presence in me, I could immediately feel a shift in frequency and in my skin.
Doing emotional intimacy work, working with and through emotions, together with my partner, has been the quickest, most transformative, effective, everlasting experience.
I appreciate your presence deeply Chris Cheung 😍
Dear skin, thank You. I’m glad I’m finally hearing your messages.
It’s funny, in the past, I would be complaining about my skin condition in an attempt to get attention, love and support.
Now that I give myself the support and love I need and just rawly share parts of my healing journey, I’m flooded with tips and messages of support and compassion, which I am so deeply grateful for. Gratitude to all of You who reached out ❤️❤️❤️